One of the things I do during my transition period is to keep “idea lists“. Now that I have a lot of mental space, I get lots of inputs and inspiration from books, articles, TED talks, podcasts, social media, friends and colleagues – and most importantly when my mind just wanders.
I guess there are many people who don’t deal well with periods when they don’t work regularly. We’re trained and socialised to attend classes or meetings, meet deadlines or targets, and just be present. A transition period suddenly opens up a million possibilities and options, and instead of going from one position to a promotion, or one job directly into the next, the number of paths that are out there can feel quite daunting.
What if I try to take the wrong path? What if I get rejected or fail? What if none of the paths work out? What if I just end up going in circles? What if I don’t have the courage or energy to try? What will other people say? What if I don’t have the skills or experience needed? I can imagine that these questions and all the insecurity can be paralysing. I experience this too on some days, but have learned to be more patient. Tomorrow is a new day, and I’ll just try again.
I definitely share the challenge of having many ideas. But as I’m no longer 25, I feel like certain options are not worth pursuing anymore. Or I have already tried and tested some of these, and know that although they feel intriguing, they are not exactly for me (e.g. starting a PhD, writing a novel, starting out in a completely different field). I keep telling friends and colleagues who worriedly ask whether I’ve already found my next job that I feel like I am in an absolutely luxurious position – and age – to be incredibly picky. This may change a few months down the road, but right now, I’m enjoying this freedom of choice and reflection.
What helps me organise some of the ideas and options is to keep “idea lists”. I just jot down in a journal, on a piece of paper, or in an email or file for myself whatever it is that comes to mind. And then I park it. It’s a bit like a very long period of brainstorming, where I keep track of all possibilities, but also write them down so that they don’t keep circulating in my head.
I have in parallel also been spending a lot of time thinking about values, priorities and impact. These lists can also become endless and overwhelming, so I’ve also spent a lot of time talking to people who know me well, to get their feedback on what they have seen really counts for me.
During these past months, I have also tested a few possible paths. I have sometimes been invited to discuss work opportunities, and have for some few positions that felt really suitable submitted an application. Some paths have not felt right for what I want to do right now, others haven’t worked out. And I’ve kept exploring other paths during the process.
One thing that I always try to take time for is to give feedback or support to people who ask for advice. This is the one thing I don’t park.
I may not be taking huge strides in doing things. Covid19 and the shutdown period with four children at home has definitely slowed down my process and timelines. But I still feel like I am getting important things done, and starting on a few initiatives that feel right.
For one, I’ve tried to support people who ask for advice, but also initiatives I care about deeply. One of these is Women in Global Health, a network and advocacy organisation that aims to further gender equality and ensure more women lead in global health.
Second, I’ve put an initiative I founded six years ago back online. KarriereFamilie is an initiative that aims to make having a career and children more compatible and easier in Germany. I’ve been engaging in this area for a long time, but the Covid19 crisis’ impacts on working mothers in particular triggered me to bring this initiative back into the public space.
Third, as anyone who has been following my blog knows, I’ve kept up regular blogging, hopping from reflections I have on global health to writing about my personal transition journey, and associated thoughts about our ways of working and managing, and work-life balance. Some of this discussion happens on Twitter or LinkedIn, but I’ve rediscovered my love for writing through this blog, and it helps me organise my thoughts, and also push me out of my (reactive, passive, private) comfort zone. I also hope that my journey and sharing this helps a few people along the way, or at least triggers food for thought.
Finally, I’ve over the past weeks been chewing on an idea I had that felt needed and right. We’ll see what comes out of it. It may end up on my to do list, it may get parked. Most importantly, I’m not stuck.
Katri Bertram 